Last week I went for a run on

Last week I went for a run on the West Side Highway.  Whiffs of ocean enter my nose and for a few brief seconds I am reminded I live on an Island. The sun reflects off of the shiny glass buildings and leaks light across the water. No, the waves don’t come up and tickle my toes, and I wouldn’t dip even a pinky in the Hudson with fear of getting sick, but I would give up the finest beach sunset for views of New York City. Because when New York City shines, she really shines- like a glam night club with red velvet ropes and a disco ball the size of my apartment. New York City is the sparkling girl in the red dress grooving in the center of the dance floor. She’s smiling and sexy and everyone wants to be her because she knows what she is doing. But then there are moments when that same pretty girl wanders to the grimy underground of the club. It’s dirty down there, loud and smells bad. Anything can happen in these parts. There are cracks in the walls filled with sweat and gunk and the nastiest grime in the world. It’s nothing like the upscale club upstairs. It’s vulgar and chaotic, but equally alive.  This is also New York. When this city is dirty, it’s dirty- Comparable to a crack in the floor of a port-o-john or the brown gunk under a hobo’s fingernail. I know when I leave here, I will be surprised at how clean my next destination will be. I’m just not sure clean will be enough.

 

Some say if you leave New York, you’re not going anywhere. Some think that people who live other places, in a way, must be kidding. At times I agree with them. At times I know there is nothing in the world that can compare to this wonderful city.  The fact that I won’t ever run out of things to do here is enough to simply stay forever. For now, I’ll surrender to New York City. I’ll work until 11pm and eat at my desk because that’s what you do here. I’ll ignore people and walk in a hurry. I’ll forget the beggars on the subway and the one-legged hobo outside of my apartment who hides his beer under a traffic cone. I’ll run on the West Side Highway and watch the water move. And then I’ll sit on the ground at the end of a dock and look back at the New York I’m attached to. I’ll love my city, but also find myself, for brief moments, wishing this dock would detach itself and I’d float away.  

 

 

Boston Marathon 2013

I couldn’t sleep the night before the Boston Marathon. My mind bounced thoughts around like a noisy pinball machine- what if my foot starts acting up? What if I get dehydrated? What if I get sick and can’t finish? I tossed to my side and noticed my running clothes all folded up in an organized stack topped with power gel, Tiger Balm, my ID, Excedrin, an orange, and extra hair ties. Okay, I’m prepared for this. I have trained for this. And then I thought about- not the 30,000 other runners- but the 30,000 other stacks of running gear set up neatly next to thousands of bedsides around Boston like presents under a Christmas tree. Tomorrow, we will all wake up, lace up around 60,000 sneakers, and run- together. This thought comforted my nerves, and soon I was asleep.

The race started as one of the best mornings of my life. The spirit around the Boston Marathon was one that could only be found in the most magical, heartfelt of places- like a hometown winning high school football game (of 40,000+ fans). I clumped at the starting line with people of all sorts, the most random being two guys dressed as cheeseburgers and a man who looked like Einstein in a shirt that read “1,000 Marathon Larry.” The energy was youthful and close. We all looked around at each other, I couldn’t stop smiling. The gun fired. I took off behind a shirtless guy holding up an American flag. Thousands of the most spirited fans lined the race passing out water and oranges and popsicles (!!). This was a team event, which is what I love most about marathons. It is one of the only sports that’s incredibility demanding and absurdly challenging, but you participate with thousands of other people and- despite between the few extremely fast people in the front- there isn’t much competition. Everyone just wants to do their best and finish. There’s no yelling back and forth between fans or players about who is better, there are no fights, punches, or angry participants. Marathons are just people, supporting other people, in achieving an exceptionally challenging goal.

So why would someone try to ruin that?

I wasn’t far from the finish line when news began to spread that something bad had happened. At the near finish, instead of the expected celebrations and smiling faces, I ran into chaos, confusion, a cancelled race, and tears. It was heartbreaking and painful, and still a big, sad blur.

If I could say something to the fool who did this, I would tell him that I refuse to be terrorized, and that I refuse to live in fear of people like him. I would tell him that although his silly and senseless act caused temporary stir and lives- it didn’t work. He wanted to create hate. He wanted to destroy something wonderful. Doesn’t he know that by his one act of hate, he created thousands more acts of love? Thousands of people in Boston opened their homes to others in need. Thousands of people reached out to help. Thousands of people now run in honor of Boston. Doesn’t he know he is messing with the people who run 26.2 miles- voluntarily? So sure, he caused grief and chaos. He cost lives. But he hasn’t stopped good- he only created the opportunity for more good. And if he was trying to stop marathoners- he should know he’s trying to stop those who don’t quit. All he did was give people even more of a reason to race, he provided the running community with an even bigger sense of unity, and made Boston stronger than it’s ever been.

He failed.

I’m not going to lie and say that he didn’t cause an impossibly hard day turned to weeks. I’m not going to lie and say that I wasn’t  stuck frozen  sitting on an air mattress that night, sick and in shock. But I will say that I think we are all a little stronger and a little closer when things like this happen, and it’s nice to know we live in a country that can bounce back. I just pray that we stop getting chances to prove it.

20130428-211019.jpg

Starting line!

20130428-211047.jpg

Finish line!

20130428-211129.jpg

20130428-211243.jpg

20130428-211343.jpg

I’m sitting on the plane flying east, watching the daylight give into the purple inkiness of the night out the window. I spent Easter morning in Breckenridge at a snug diner with my family. A friendly Polish waiter served us pancakes the size of steering wheels and the best eggs Benedict I have ever had. Afterwards we strolled around the lazy, snowy sidewalks of downtown Breckenridge. Tonight, I will be back in my noisy Times Square apartment. Woody will probably whistle at me again when I walk past 42nd street, and the strip club promoters will most likely still be taking cigarette breaks on my doorstep. I won’t be able to see the stars or smell the mountain trees or enjoy the complete silence that the snow makes by sucking up all the sound- But I will be excited to wake up in a different city. I could spend my entire life this way if someone would let me- arriving each evening in a new city.

Different cities are what I think about most on planes. There are so many destinations I still want to see (and so many places I want to see again) It’s difficult to fathom that I’m actually just going back to New York (oh, poor me) and not traveling anymore. For the past five years, I was constantly planning my next adventure to unknown lands where the language was different and the culture was foreign. Right now, I don’t know when I will leave the country again. It could be years. This is one of the harshest realities for a wandering girl.

As I get older, it’s hard to think about what exactly I am doing with my Life. I’ve just landed a (rad and very fun) position as the PR coordinator for Gap, a global company nearly everyone knows. I love this job. But.. Is it what I want to do? Is working fashion PR, something I never thought I would do, what I’m supposed to do? It feels like it for now, but I also (don’t mean to toot my own horn here) think I’m meant to do more. And so I sit here and ask myself:

Lauren Fern Watt, what would you do if you could do anything in the world and money wasn’t a factor?

Here’s the list I came up with:

Travel

Help people

Be around all different kinds of people

Be creative

Be successful- which I don’t measure with finances, but with experiences. (I’ll admit increased finances do make finding experiences easier)

If i could have anyones job it would be Blake Mycoskie, the guy who started Toms (no his name isn’t Tom, I was surprised too). He does everything on my list, and with his shoes he started a global movement helping thousands of people. He also gets to be creative, has a huge fashion line, and is constantly pushing the company’s boundaries to try new things.

So, how can I follow in Blake’s footsteps and start something that matters? Well, I’ve had an idea for a while, an idea very different from Toms’, but similar to Toms’ buy one give one motto. I’m not going to go into all the details here and now, but I am happy to say that I have actually officially started producing this company. And with the help of my two sisters, we are starting our very own brand called CIAO Y’ALL. Over the next couple of months (and hopefully indefinitely longer) I will be exploding all of your news feeds with details about our progress and how you can get involved. Our motto is to kick boundaries, and with this if I can improve the lives of just a small number of people, I would consider it an exceptional accomplishment. So, stay tuned!

Until then, here are some pictures from the mountains! :)

xxx

Fern

20130407-193422.jpg

Burton, brah

20130407-193450.jpg

Relaxxin’

20130407-193459.jpg

WEEEEEE!!

20130407-193508.jpg

snoozin’

20130407-193523.jpg

Tip top!

20130407-193530.jpg

Yay America!

20130407-193538.jpg

Hello!

20130407-193546.jpg

Family time! I’m so lucky!

20130407-193432.jpg

A sister snoooze!